Drag my yarbles! TEMPLE (2018) is a doom band spreading a mix of doom classico and modern rock - and I mean thick mates, like a mouthful of yucca that gets stuck in your downpipe on a midnite munchy raid. TEMPLE features members of SILVER DEVIL and SURFING IN HELL and these chaps are found emitting fuzzalicious vibes of pitbull love from wonderful Gävle, Sweden. The band's new release "Funeral Planet" is fierce like a visa ruling from a lower court - a kick in the tits but with time enough to spot your landing; unfortunately I know all to well about this process ... adelante ¡!

'Sea of Grief' has fuzztacular bell-bottom flapping sonic waves of melody filled goodness - imagine eating a METALLICA cream pie filled with SHAKIRA love inside ... She paints the ground with her lava brush ... 'Magma' likewise brings the love with the mighty bass of Erik Bergqvist roping in the zizzy fizz with a solid bottom tonic - and if you feel that at 6:32 'Magma' still had some legs, you will not be disappointed when 'Whipped' unfurls the mizzen tacking straight toward the edge of flat Imperial Corporate Earth:

Walking around with the whip in our hand...we try to tame this vulnerable land...holding it down, burning it with our brand...listen to the planet and she´ll tell you were she stands...Hayzoos, that actually brings a tear to me wee orbs ... All we could do is try, try to make a change ...'Changes' gives the time continuum phaser pedal a spin while the groaning guitar stuka dive bombs multiple runs on your foxhole ...Quit the lies and please make haste... 'Ashes' allows Otto Molin's vocals just a smidge more acoustical room to make sense of this urgent siren call for an ecological wake-up to the plight of Mother Earth. A Red Star for drummer Marcus Ström, the guy keeps this music together and hanging time in a most unselfish performance that nails these songs down like a dangerous meeting with a mob that ends up with a hospital run to the emergency room - his hypnotic trance rhythm never lets you go.

While compared to bands like WINDHAND, ELECTRIC WIZARD and the fantastic HAUNTED from Italy, I am gonna risk being drawn and quartered here by confessing that aside from certain moments, those bands don't grip me en masse no, not like TEMPLE does and they do it MONOLORD style - with the best riffs that are melodically reduced like moonshine liquor - put through the tubing at a high enough temperature to just leave the most potent of uncomplicated rock'n'roll potions. One more awesome Swede band...no headline there. Check these lads out and give them your support, "Funeral Planet" is worthy.

Metal Temple Public Service Announcement for Bands: Ya'll want some pussy? Well, so do I ... and you might get some by impressing the lovely and lusty Metal-Stoner-Doom chicks that read Metal Temple; and to that end, include a band biography in Word format along with something clever to say about your efforts, including song lyrics - unless seeing them repeated in print causes sea levels to rise and brings some demonic plague to pass on all of humanity. It just might help the toad reviewing your music come up with some arty poetic prose to say about you. Peace Out and Mary Xmas ¡!

Bussi Baba, Grüß Gott and Dani Bandolier's Spotify list...

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/272H3UBARsuksY3BqU0CzP?si=eyrVcaKURTOU2PioOL4pNA