Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water. Or at the very least, a fish surrounded by other fish of ill repute who piss in our living area and don't seem to mind. That is upsetting, because despite all the semi-liquid shit of Metal music out there, despite all the bands who aren't worth a listen to save the life of a dying infant, metal music is still worth defending. I say this because I'm about to be very mean - or so it may seem.

This is merely an EP, meaning it's barely 15 minutes long apparently. I'm not sure how I should feel on the brevity. Am I happy it was over so quickly, or upset that it was over so quickly? I haven't really decided yet, so we'll need to wait to see if I have come to a conclusion a few paragraphs down the line. As it stands currently, "Gods, Thugs & Manmen" is simply a Hardcore / Thrash Metal release from some indie band I haven't heard of until now.

Hardcore is usually the public pool I spend the least amount of time in, because it tends to sacrifice all the tastiest parts of music for basic, raw aggression and riffage - and because all the smelly kids won't stop splashing. To me, that is just being charitable in saying its boring. Hardcore is purely a "scene" music, it's not something you can digest in an esoteric manner, because when you do all you are going to find is a basic living room with all the wall decorations slightly askew and a smudge of paint on the carpet because the idiot who painted thought he was good enough to not use painters tape! Well, it's not my thing.

But, PANZERBASTARD doesn't fully let the corruptive influence of Hardcore in. The thrash is definitely there, and that is when they are in their best elements. They need to stay there, and not get side-tracked by the brownish Sludge of Hardcore.

By the way, a name like PANZERBASTARD has me a bit perplexed. "Panzer" is the German word for "panther", and we all know what a bastard is. So it seems they saw fit to name their band after a jungle cat born out of wedlock. Why? The hell with it, maybe they would be wise to change their name to TIGERFUCKER or LIONASSHOLE. I hope I'm being enough of a cynical jerk.

As it stands, I'm approaching the end here, and I still haven't really decided what to think on this album. It's got a couple decent hooks and pieces, but it's too short to really get into and it lacks anything to keep my mind occupied once it's over. But it doesn't fail, fuck up, or fall on its face like a fat firelighter fighting a fire with fire. Alliteration aside, I can say I am mostly indifferent to this whole thing and wish for something a bit more satisfying.

Oh wait, how about CHEETAHPOON?