LUCER. With a name like that, I was thinking Black or Death Metal. Maybe South American Thrash. New York Hardcore? However, an uneasy feeling settled on me when nothing popped on Metal Archives. That usually means one of two things: 1) So underground or so new that they have not yet registered on the scales, or 2) Unqualified for the Metal ranks. And then I listened to their latest album, "The New World," and it all became clear. #2 it was. LUCER is a Danish Rock band made for the airwaves if we were still in the aughts and we were all in grade school. Listening to this album I felt the pain of Regan when that bastard priest kept throwing holy water on her. "Oh, it burns!"

"The New World" is the third full-length album from LUCER. The band says they mostly wrote the album in 2021, and so it's infused with all that angst. A lot of bands say that, and I don't suppose it can't really be denied at this point. However, when a band says they wrote something in 2021 it's pretty much code for "Hey, this is going to be really whiny." And so it is.

The objective facts: ten tracks, 34 minutes, Alternative Rock, talented bunch, clean vocals, good musicians. My subjective opinion: Whingy intonation, too heavy on the electronica rhythms, lots of pop hooks, overwrought lyrics, way over-produced.

This album hurt my soul on so many levels. With that said, it will probably be an immensely successful album when it comes to bankable sales. When the band's promo material states they are "one of the most successful rock bands in Denmark," I don't doubt it. And that makes me very sad. So, beware, I guess the whinge is infectious. Vaccines won't help you here.

The final verdict: If I leave my opinion out of it, this isn't a terrible album. As juvenile as the lyrics may be, the song compositions aren't awful. The tunes are catchy, the riffs solid enough. Objectively speaking this album may be good enough for the masses. But this is a review . . . by me . . . so my opinion is kind of the point. Also, this is an extreme Metal magazine, so the audience plays a factor as well. Flat 5 out of 10 on this one, though I know their records sales will beg to differ and they may even land another beer commercial.