Erlen Meyer
Erlen Meyer
•
November 13, 2014
Well first things first when I was told to review this CD I did not know what to expect as I have never heard of this band before and when I saw what genre of music it is I thought 'Oh Christ, another Progressive Metal band'. I say that because whenever someone says progressive you instantly think of DREAM THEATRE or GENESIS and that it would take half a year of your life to finish listening to one album because of the increasingly elongated keyboard and guitar solos. But no, it doesn't start off dull with the opening track.
Track 1 - "Gamia Stan"
This track sounds like something from an old hammer horror film which sounds increasingly scary which is fabulous and gets you imagining what the album will be like; dark and mystifying probably, so a pretty damn good opening.
Track 2 - "Nuit"
The opening guitar riff is very dark and theatrical and not at all dull to listen to. So very different from most prog bands it is also mixed very well with the guitars, bass and drums but what lets it down, are the vocals. They sound like some stupid emo kid caught his testicals in a milling machine and they are being cubed whilst the microphone is recording the vocalist. If the rest of the album has the same vocal style I will be incredibly unhappy because they sound bloody awful and are undecipherable and I would rather blow torch my own nipples off than listen to something that terrible.
Track 3 - "Agatha"
Well this track doesn't sound as good musically as the previous track as the guitars are too distorted and my fears were confirmed. The vocals at the start sound so bloody lazy; imagine talking to someone called Ryan who has a silly emo haircut with stupid ear stretchers in his ears trying to talk to you about his favourite Metalcore band and I would rather swim with a pack of hungry sharks than do that because that is what it sounds like with the opening vocal track. It gets slightly better as the guitar riff has improved but is then ruined by those horrible vocals. You cannot possibly understand them and I listen to Grindcore like AMPUTATED; they might as well recite a speech in ancient Egyptian because that would make more sense.
Track 4 - "Les Caprices De Remington"
Again it starts off with a good intro and you would think that some heavy guitars and fast drumming would kick in but no it is just an instrumental track which I liked as it didn't have those s*** vocals in.
Track 5 - "Temple Du Cri"
Well once again they have a great sounding demonic guitar riff which is then improved by the thumping bass and drums but immediately ruined by the vocals. It sounds like Oli Sykes; no that isn't fair but is almost like it and I hate it. I hate it because I have a brain and can tell you it sounds like tone deaf noise pollution.
To conclude; the rest of the tracks; "Sans Fleur Ni Couraonne", "Bouche Cousue", and "Bec et Ongles" are all the same. Great instrumentation from the guitars, bass and drummer but absolutely f****** s*** vocals, I Cannot comprehend on what he is saying and I have heard better noises when I am on the toilet after a curry. The 7th track was another instrument track which was very well done though which is called "Ex-Voto".
The overall rating I am giving this band is 2/10; the reason being is that the vocals are crap and some of the songs just drag on and on and are very boring. If I wanted to be bored to death I would listen to DREAM THEATRE.
Overall this band is f****** awful.
2 / 10
What the Hell?
"Erlen Meyer" Track-listing:
1. Gamia Stn
2. Nuit
3. Agatha
4. Les Caprices De Remington
5. Temple Du Cri
6. Sans Fleur Ni Couronne
7. Ex-Voto
8. Bouche Cousue
9. Bec Et Ongles
Erlen Meyer Lineup:
Oliv' - Vocals
J - Guitars
Pierre - Guitars
Djab - Bass
Karol - Drums
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