There's no other way to put this; DEMONS OF OLD METAL are not very good. Combining the costumes and theatricality of SLIPKNOT with some tongue-in-cheek humour should have made them brilliant, but "Dominion" is a thoroughly underwhelming album. It's eleven tracks of poorly-produced music which comes across like a bunch of demos that FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH recorded while hungover and it just doesn't work. This is especially disappointing because they're not taking themselves entirely seriously. Their bio claims they've been sent from Hell, their outfits are low-budget and they're clearly cut from the same cloth as EVIL SCARECROW but unlike Dr. Hell and friends, their music doesn't stand up outside the live shows. There's nothing as memorable as "Crabulon" or "Robototron" and it quickly descends into a series of jokes that aren't funny.

"Fakeskin" for instance is terrible. The grunting vocals and tinny guitars do no favours to this undercooked Thrash song and it falls flat on its face as it charges out the starting blocks. "You Version 2.0" follows with a more mid-paced groove but it fails to kick off and is more awkward than having dinner with your girlfriend's parents then suddenly feeling her dad's hand caressing your thigh. Things don't improve with "Dance of the Damned," a sub-SLIPKNOT effort with a monotonous breakdown running through it, while "Behind the Mask" is a cringe-worthy attempt at a tough guy song. In fairness it's almost certainly meant to be a parody but just because something is satire doesn't automatically make it good. The clean vocals during the chorus in particular are awful and will provide ample fodder for anyone who thinks there's no room for anything but death growls in Metal. Worst of the lot though is "The Star of Your Nightmare," a dull attempt at Industrial-tinged Nu-Metal. If you never had the experience of seeing a local band trying to pull off a MARILYN MANSON impression at a half-empty venue in 1999 then this is what it was like. Oh and it's you, you're the star of your nightmare. What a shocking twist. There's one or two good ideas to be found if you seriously want to dig deep into "Dominion" but the sad truth is this is a very poor album. Maybe they need to be witnessed live to understand because on record, DEMONS OF OLD METAL are not entertaining in the slightest. This is a massive missed opportunity and isn't worth investing in regardless of how goofy the masks are.