March 13^th, 2018: CREMATORY announces their displeasure with the financial state of the metal community. Their drummer goes on record saying:

 "Have you fans get off your lazy asses and start buying tickets for the announced shows. The pre-sales are horrible and we will cancel the tour completely, if the numbers don't increase radically."

Interesting.

April 13^th, 2018: CREMATORY releases a brand new full length album, OBLIVION. Dropping a statement as dramatic as the aforementioned only a month before releasing a new album? That's pretty bold.

See, the thing about music fans, we listen to music we like, we listen to music we think is good. And according to CREMATORY, the only reasons fans don't give a shit about their tour is because they're lazy. So by the transitive property, we are left with only one certain conclusion: the new CREMATORY album is an absolute banger, here to kick down the door of the metal community.

Except...that's not at all what the new CREMATORY album is. Instead, it's a discount version of every power/symphonic/gothic metal album you've ever heard before. But that's pretty standard faire for CREMATORY, when you've been around since 1992 and barely made a dent in the metal community, the only reasonable conclusion is that there is something wrong with the music.

And on "Oblivion," it's more of the same. Generic guitar riffs, cheesy synth and piano in the background, corny lyrics, disappointing production value, zero new or imaginative styles or concepts, and harsh vocals that sound like absolute shit. Worse than Alexander Krull on the new LEAVES' EYES album, and if you're not familiar with the new LEAVES' EYES album...it might actually be for the best.

It all starts with the opener. A minute and a half long instrumental and symphonic intro track. It might have been cool back in 2011, but in 2018, it's outdated and trite. But I have no problem with the idea, I love a good instrumental opener that packs an epic punch. But this one is about as derivative as they come, no doubt half-assed in a studio somewhere during a writing session.

And from there? Really no redeeming qualities for the album. To the band's credit, for being an older group, they do keep the metal alive and well. The songs do groove and move with an undeniable metal chunk, it's just nothing special. It's forgettable, and it doesn't grab you. The only way I can see someone objectively loving this music more than a casual listen is if they're already a well established and loyal CREMATORY fan, and according to the band themselves, there apparently aren't any.

To be fair, I will give credit to one track that stood out to me a little bit more. Track 9 "Immortal" had an interesting electronica vibe to it that was somewhat fresh, and the guitar had a very nice groove to it. Outside of that? You're definitely going to want to be a BIG fan of generic goth/symphonic/death to enjoy all the other songs. And even by that standard, the album still falls flat. And this is coming from someone who fell in love with metal through groups like NIGHTWISH, EPICA, WITHIN TEMPATION, etc. So I'm absolutely not a hater of the genre, just a hater of shit bands who think they're better than they are and blame the world for their lack of success.

Look, CREMATORY, if you want all of your lazy fans to get off their lazy asses and come to your shows, you could always try making good music that is new and original. But if that doesn't suit you, feel free to stick it out with the generic mid-200s synth/gothic metal. You might have to cancel your tour, but clearly nobody gives a shit anyway. Best of luck.