Let me start by saying I'm a particular kind of Metalhead. I'm the asshole, the cynic, the pessimistic man who likes Metal because he hates everything else. But apart from that, while I can say that I honestly love Heavy Metal music, that doesn't necessarily mean I love allheavy metal music. It takes a particularly talented and handsome person to be able to perfectly discriminate the golden records from the poop records. A person like me, but not me. Until that person shows up, I'll fill in for all his duties he is in dereliction of.

You know what's awesome? MORBID ANGEL and their original album, "Altars of Madness". You know what's also awesome? DEATH and their release, "Leprosy". You know what's not really anything spectacular at all? Copying people. Sure, I'll agree that all art is basically just ripping off of people just the right way no one can immediately tell. Hell, do you think I'm the first guy to do the whole "asshole reviewer" schtick? I'd like to think so, in spite of all the facts.

Well, most of the preceding information was useful because, while FUNERAL WHORE is decent enough at capturing that raw Death Metal feel without allowing the corruptive, shit influence of modern Metal - they must realize they are about twenty years late to the party, right? I guess what I mean is that this is nothing special. It's absolutely standard Death Metal fare, with the same endearing characteristics and personality of toothpaste. Yes, I do brush my teeth, but it's hardly something I get priapismic over.

Maybe I'm just generally fatigued at the moment on the genre. Then again, listening to fifteen new albums in the span of a couple weeks will do that. I like to sit on the good shit for a while and let it melt in. That's why the classics are called that - because they are worth playing again and again and again. No one talks about the forgettable shit because they can't remember it.

In summary, meh.