Heavy Metal Rules
Steel Panther
•
December 14, 2019
The California boys STEEL PANTHER are back at their shenanigans once again with their fifth album "Heavy Metal Rules". With Michael Starr on vocals, Satchel on guitar, Lexxi Foxx on bass and Stix Zadinia on drums. This notorious band is always in the headlines doing something crazy and fun. You may remember them from such classics as "Death To All But Metal" and "Community Property". If you are looking to just rock out with your cock out, this album is just for you.
It all starts with the skit "Zebraman" which most of their albums have and they're always funny. The first actual song up is "All I Wanna Do Is Fuck (Myself Tonight). This song absolutely kills it. It's absolutely hilarious to boot. This song is completely what the band is all about. If you don't enjoy this song, I feel sorry for you. Next up we have "Let's Get High Tonight". I absolutely loved this song. It has all the best qualities of Glam Metal and none of the bad. One of my favorite lines was "Mom and Dad are out of town, call the whores it's going down, let's all fuck until the dawn, fornicate on the neighbor's lawn". That line had me in tears from laughing so hard.
Another song I love is "I'm Not Your Bitch" because it sounds like PANTERA's Glam phase. This is one of the most Metal songs I have ever heard from them. The musicianship on this song is fantastic. This song makes me want to roll a joint and drive around and pretend it's still the 80's. The song "Heavy Metal Rules" is another one that I really enjoyed a whole lot. This song is pretty damn heavy for STEEL PANTHER. This song will absolutely make you smile from ear to ear. All in all, I think the album as a whole is one of their best. What I would love to see from the band is for them possibly to keep slowly going towards a heavier Metal sound even though the whole point if the band is being a parody.
8 / 10
Excellent
Songwriting
Musicianship
Memorability
Production
"Heavy Metal Rules" Track-listing:
1. Zebraman
2. All I Wanna Do Is Fuck (Myself Tonight)
3. Let's Get High Tonight
4. Always Gonna Be A Ho
5. I'm Not Your Bitch
6. Fuck Everybody
7. Heavy Metal Rules
8. Sneaky Little Bitch
9. Gods of Pussy
10. I Ain't Buying What You're Selling
Steel Panther Lineup:
Michael Starr - Vocals
Satchel - Lead Guitar
Lexxi Foxx - Bass
Stix Zadinia - Drums
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