Janet Gardner

Janet Gardner

I was born in 1983 so by the time I was old enough to really […]
November 13, 2017
Janet Gardner - Janet Gardner album cover

I was born in 1983 so by the time I was old enough to really be into music, the 80's had already passed me by.  Considering my parents did not listen to Glam Rock/Hair Metal, or any metal at all, I was very unfamiliar with the "hair" genre until later on. Although I love all the 80's metal bands (and count many of them among my favorite bands), everything from DEATH ANGEL to TESTAMENT, I never could appreciate or enjoy anything involving Glam Rock and Hair Metal, outside of RATT and ACCEPT, two bands who actually not Glam Metal when you get down to it.   This album does nothing to change that and may even make me hate it worse.  I understand having influences and showing them thru your music.  Indeed, a ton of artists and bands I enjoy let those who came before come out in their music but, at some point, enough is enough.  It shouldn't be surprising considering Janet and her former band VIXEN are from the era but this album is not only inspirited by the 80's, it sounds just like it.  This sound may have been important or relevant 36 years ago but now it's just pointless and boring.

I'm not saying Janet or her husband Justin aren't talented but I'm not just not hearing anything here that doesn't bore me to death.  The riffs, the lyrics, the song structure...everything is just so middle of the road and pedestrian that I struggled to even finish the album. Oh wait, I didn't. Justin's solos are decent at times but the riffs that encase them are bland. Janet's vocals are good sometimes but at others, such as on the track "Lost," she sounds like she smoked thirty cigs before entering the studio.  However, the main riff to this song is definitely a step up.   "The Grind," also has some decent riffs that gets quite heavy but they are in songs that don't go anywhere do it doesn't matter. The production is nice and clear but its also cold and sterile; I can only imagine this was recorded in a large room with no carpet and plain, white walls-it's just such a boring sounding album.  I'm not sure who played drums on this album, as I couldn't find any information about it, but they might as well have been done by a computer so benign and uninteresting they are.

If you were/are a fan of Glam Rock and grew up listening to the music then you might enjoy this but, there is very little here to enjoy.

3 / 10

Hopeless

Songwriting

3

Musicianship

3

Memorability

3

Production

5
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"Janet Gardner" Track-listing:

1. Rat Hole
2. Hippycrite
3. If You Want Me
4. Candle
5. Your Problem Now
6. Let It Be Over
7. Lost
8. The Grind
9. Best Friend
10.  The Good or the Bye

Janet Gardner Lineup:

Janet Gardner - Guitars, Vocals
Justin James - Guitars

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