Lightning Strikes should be a band fossilized in amber, but alas, they've returned. Lightning Strikes is a plain-old heavy metal band that released one single back in 1985, then vanished off the earth. They returned in 2016 to dish out "Lightning Strikes," their first full-length album, then again fell off the metal radar. Today, they somehow rose again to bring forth "The King Is Victorious." A band with wildly infrequent releases like Lightning Strikes raises some questions: Why do they take so damn long to make music? Is it even good? I'll have answers for both of these questions soon.

"Fear of Unkown" opens with a gust of wind and ASMR of a medieval town, that straight-up evolves into a church hymn. The heavy metal starts about forty-eight seconds in, with high-pitched vocals and simple guitar riffs. The cadence of lead vocalist Mariano calls back to the 80's, a time most of the band is plenty familiar with. The track is rocky in both instrumentation and pace, as it goes nowhere in seven minutes. It doesn't help that a single guitar solo takes up a third of the track. We also hear the first electronic wizardry by the guest keyboardist, Derek. He's been in league with the band for a while, featuring on their 2016 album. "Voices in My Head" sounds more traditional, and the vocals clearly resemble James LaBrie, and it's almost uncanny. It didn't click for me on the first track, but here, I can hear that proggy frontman. Some cello helps end the track. "Clash of Battalions" starts the same as any other song of this genre: Simple but effective riff, a drum fill, and a nice loud "YEAAHHHHH!" Derek's keys play a bigger role here, which I can vibe with, but that's about it. A filler track, if you will. Predictably, the title track is an epic, clocking in at nine-and-a-half minutes. I'm sure the song tells a sprawling story, but it's way too boring to keep up with. The guitar solo is like eight of those minutes anyway.

There's not much more I can say about "Aim and Shoot," "Lucid Dreams," and "New Beginning," as they're pretty much all heavy metal rockers with little variety and basic songwriting. "Lucid Dreams" is a ballad, so that's different?

This album cover set expectations WAY too high. This LP looks badass, but sounds mediocre at best. Honestly, I'm surprised Lightning Strikes fell off in California in the 80's, as this material would've done wonders back then. While it's possible to pull off heavy metal in the current age, "The King Is Victorious," with its Duolingo sentence-like song titles, masterbatory guitar solos, and drawn-out compositions, falls flat.