Well, random things do seem to happen without much order or reason, don't they? Out of the blue I just said "Fuck it, I'm moving to Arizona". The downside to this was having to get rid of most of my shit, the upside being a 2000-mile trip provides ample time to listen to music and get some reviewing done. As it turns out, I didn't do that. Mostly, I just used my laptop to watch episodes of The Simpsons and play solitaire. Let it be said I do not use my time wisely.

Anyway, I am now moved in (more or less), and now I feel comfortable enough to get some reviewing done. First up on the docket: FINAL CURSE and their newest release, "Way of the Accursed". Why did I pick them over other music in my folder? Alphabetically reasons, mostly.

I must say, FINAL CURSE certainly have the Thrash Metal genre down to a very distinct art, in their case. The best thing you can say about it is that "Way of the Accursed"perfectly blends the staple elements of Thrash Metal with their own artistic ideas. This means that is sounds fresh and new, and not like the audio equivalent of a peach left on the front porch. Really, I must give top marks all around the field, here. The lead work is fantastically melodic, technical, and doesn't have that gobbledegook shreddiness some find appealing (not me). The drum work is tight, warm, and other sexual innuendos appropriately relating to drumming. As for the vocals? Thank the inventor of Dr. Pepper arbitrarily for the fact that the vocals are not that excessively shouty mess of poop other (almost all) Thrash bands seem to do in our time. It reminds me of "Master of Puppets" era of METALLICA - a shout that also contains a tinge of melodic tone to it. And sense I'd argue that "Master of Puppets" is probably the Thrash Metal album amongst Thrash Metal albums, that's definitely a good choice to take some influence from if you don't want me to hurl some shit your way.

This is how you do thrash metal the good old fashion way. So many bands think that if they merely have some semblance of speed or shout enough then they are thrash metal. No. Not at all. Never in a million years (that's a one followed by 3003 zeros). Odds are you are probably some shit-genre like Metalcore or Deathcore or some mangled bullshit genre like "post-post-hardcore-moshpunk-post-core". I hope that is clear enough, because I can always bash that crap some more if you'd like.

In conclusion, this is the good shit. It's the Dr. Pepper of Thrash Metal, unlike that rip-off crap like "Mr. Pibb". For those reading this that are not American or live in Europe, that analogy basically is saying that this is genuinely good and not some cheap copy or rip-off. I liked it, though I still have yet to write a review without even a single shit analogy. I apologize.