Before we begin, I must inform you that one of our own editors was originally going to review this (and two other) album. However, his daughter was kidnapped by Albanian sex traffickers, and he swore revenge and vanished after them. However noble his pursuit, this album isn't going to review itself, and that is where I come in. Also, please note I made up the part about Albanian sex traffickers. They were actually Ukranian.

Now that we have the bullshit out of the way, let's get down to "bidness". CARNAL DEMISE has finally released their first full-length album after a slew of demos I shan't bother to name here. Seeing as this is their official debut album, they chose no better title for said release other then the very same name of the band itself. Either they are the cleverest bunch around, or just very egotistical cunts. Probably the first one. Or maybe it just has something to do with saving print space on the album cover?

Anyway, this album bites with the distinct sound of "Groove Metal", as it's called. Try to envision what PANTERA would sound like if they were melded with any Metalcore vocalist into a nice musical play-doh snake (that's all I could ever make out of play-doh, besides the misshapen ball). Interesting, catchy, and actually groovy riffage is present throughout, and is that an audible bass I hear? Yes, it is. That's good. Several musical set pieces (including a nice little piano ditty) add to the overall musical atmosphere of the album, and it was surprisingly listen-to-able.

However, even the cleanest cut of meat has small pieces of shit in it, and this album is metaphorically no different. And, of course, it's found in the land of Vocals. To be utterly blunt here, I am exhausted of discussing this topic - so all I will say is they suck and leave it at that. If you can't figure out what I would've said had I the sheer force of will, then let me direct you to my past reviews and leave you to decipher it yourself. To save you the time, I'll cave and just say they are too shouty. But, when the vocalist chooses to hit a genuine tone and keep the melody going, he does it a great service. Had he kept that going in the albums entirety I would have no major complaints to lob their way.

But I can tolerate a fat chick if she has a nice face, and I can do something similar with this album. It's a surprisingly well-written, well-structured, well-sounding Metal release. And if that is what you want, then Santa has come early - though he'll occasionally shout at you.