This critic has previously commented on the use of flashy gimmicks by metal bands who are a bit short on talent. Typically the case is one of subpar or simplistic songwriting, although there are examples of image-heavy bands with decent enough musical chops. It's rare when the music takes on and becomes the gimmick, at least outside the Prog realm.

Well, it seems that mining for fool's gold can yield the occasional zirconium. Today's mine is found in the Black Forest of Germany, from where ALLEHACKBAR, a Heavy Retro-Rock trio, has dug up "In Your Face". If your eyes didn't roll right out of their sockets then you might find yourself appreciating this paragon of the low common denominator.

While the actual instrumentation is just fine, the songwriting is what suffers here. Lyrics which are cringey in their basicness permeate pretty much every song starting right off with the title track opener. Following that is a bit of redemption with "No Return", which is a bit more rhythmically all-together. After that it all goes back to the formula created in the first track, with "Beer, Scotch, Gras" the only other passable tune in the first half.

Things get on the other side of Pop Rock for "Saturday Night", which thankfully doesn't keep up. "Born To Rock" starts off with the same cadence as the surfing theme from "California Games" on the old NES, which is nice for a few seconds before the rest of the song resumes the album's previous course.

A bit of light shines through on "Fuck The Haters", although it also doesn't stray too far from what they've been doing. Any magic that may have been bottled up during "Friendship" comes too little too late before "Modern Slave", as near to an 80's-era METALLICA cover as makes no difference, thuds over the finish line without any real fanfare.

One might expect to have gotten a lot more accomplished with thirteen tracks across forty-two minutes and change. Somehow, though, "In Your Face" does so little and is so underwhelming that it beggars belief. It isn't the worst shit ever, far from it in fact. There's a kernel of decent music here, but ALLEHACKBAR is far from great.

They're good for young apprentice metalheads brimming with corny enthusiasm, perhaps. Certainly there's a place for the mid-week club acts, and the small venue regular openers, and that's where ALLEHACKBAR fits best. There's a definite absence of sophistication to "In Your Face", both the album and the attitude, which may be where this particular album recovers itself; with the unwashed masses who don't need another concept album in their lives.

Even so, don't count on folk hero status.