FVNERAL FVKK is a four-piece Doom Metal band from the Hamburg (officially known as Free and Hanseatic City of Hamburg), Germany.  Yes, the same city that inspired hamburger, the delicious sandwich rivaled only by the hotdog, or frankfurter - holy crap, does Germany totally own the two most iconic meals on the planet! And beer! Beer, hamburgers, hotdogs. Deep breath. Carrying on . . . another thing created in Hamburg is FVNERAL FVKK's first full-length album, "Carnal Confessions," a darkly rich album addressing a deeply disturbing subject. Short review: the album is remarkable on multiple levels. For the long review, please read on.

Here's the scene: I'm going to lunch with some work friends. I'm driving, so I control the sound. A dedicated reviewer, my playlist consists solely of albums I'm assessing for that week. I queue up "Carnal Confessions" and jump to track five, "The Hallowed Leech," which showcases an incredible vocal performance by Canto Cinaedicus. The conversation goes like this:

Them: "Oh, is this one of those bands you review for that magazine?"
Me: "Yep." There's a few seconds of no talking while people listen. Canto has ended his incredible intro and Decanus renders a killer but tasteful riff. My sound system is good enough to amplify Vicarius's bass, which reverberates through the seats punctuated by Frater's powerful drumming.

Them: "Well, he has a really nice voice. I could listen to this band." Everyone agrees. Clearly they aren't listening to the lyrics . . . or maybe they are and my colleagues are dark as hell and I somehow never noticed. Someone says something about METALLICA. Someone else mentions OZZY OSBOURNE. This is how non-metalheads talk about metal.

Other them: "That bass is really good." General agreement.
Other other them: "What's the name of the band?"
Me: "Well, first imagine all the u's are v's."
Them: "Okay, like CHVRCHES."
Me: "Yep, just like that. FVNERAL FVKK."
All of them: "What?!?"  Riotous laughter ensues and not one of them will ever buy the album. Too bad for them.

"Carnal Confessions" douses you in rich, melodious tones of doom accentuated by clear, resonant vocals. The production values are excellent and the musical execution precise. Thematically, the album tackles ecclesiastical maltreatments, specifically sexual abuses of the clergy. And they do it in such a way that explores the emotive pain and suffering without being gratuitous or exploitive. The outcome is an immensely listenable album that affects the listener at a profound level.

Canto's baritone, clean style is impeccable and will rattle the glass of your tightest storm windows. Decanus Obscaenus's down-tuned riffs and melodic solos are both intense and foreboding. (I should note that live, the band used to feature Abbas Animalis on rhythm guitar though he has recently been replaced by Pastor Pellex.) Vicarius Vespillo on bass and Frater Flagellum on drums constitute a formidable rhythm section. Some people have called FVNERAL FVKK's overall style "liturgical," though I am not convinced.

Best tracks on the album are tough to pick; they are all very strong. Personally, "The Hallowed Leech" tops my list followed by "Chapel of Abuse" and "Alone with the Cross." There are no lesser tiered tracks. Every song is stunning, including the short intro, "Omnia Ad Dei Gloriam" (translation: all the glory of God), a sardonic and disturbing primer to the seven tracks that follow. If you've followed FVNERAL FVKK since their 2017 debut, "The Lecherous Liturgies," you won't find any dramatic differences and you won't be disappointed. They're slightly tighter and just a tad bit faster; otherwise, they've remained consistent in all the right ways. Overall, FVNERAL FVKK delivers an incredibly moving album with "Carnal Confessions." This is Doom incarnate.