I try not to let personal tastes get in the way whenever I am given a new album to review. It's not always easy to be impartial though, and sometimes a band comes around that makes me want to perform very rudimentary surgery on my face with a rusty spoon.

There isn't much in the way of music that makes me feel like this, but self indulgent, whining Emo-Core is almost a sure fire way to make me hurt myself (or someone else). SECONDS ALIVE fit that bill very nicely.

I'll start with a nice thing; the guitarist is clearly quite good and the band play very tightly between themselves. There are plenty of twiddly bits and even the odd breakdown that sounds remotely good. I suppose you could even argue that they certainly know their audience and they play to it very well.

That's about all the kindness I can muster. The vocals are the main thing that made me throw my 6-month-old baby at the speakers when I started listening to this. They sound like every Screamo vocalist that ruined mid 2000's Metal, being thrown down a hill with a few shit Skate-Punk singers strapped to them. Absolutely no talent is required to sing like this and the actual lyrics almost make me embarrassed to be a part of the same species;

"Thanks for nothing, You piece of shit.
You fucked us around, you really fucked it.
Never again, never again.
Never again, never again."

That is just a small sample from "Upon Yourself", and if you imagine it being sung by a sixteen year old that has spent far too much time in Blue Banana, talking about wanting to stretch their ears but being afraid of what their parents might think, you've got it.

I promised myself I wouldn't get angry, so I am going to have to close it here and delete this album before my PC commits hara-kiri. I suppose if you like this kind of music, then good for you and you may well like this album in all of it's uninteresting simplicity. Speaking personally, I think this is the worst of all the Metal sub genres and deserves a special place in Mormon Hell.<