Over the course of a career spanning two and a half decades, veteran rocker KELLY KEELING has recorded over forty albums with a variety of artists. He's got a great voice, is a skilled multi-instrumentalist and has worked with TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA, DOKKEN, ALICE COOPER, MICHAEL SCHENKER, CARMINE APPICE and plenty of others. So why then, have you not heard of him?

Well, if his third solo album is anything to go by, it's probably because he's yet to step past December 31^st 1989. "Mind Radio" is twelve tracks of shameless eighties cheese and listening to it all in one go is harder than making it to the end of a Tough Mudder race with your dignity intact. There are keyboards and guitar combinations that would make MEATLOAF blush and it could only be more retro if it conjured spandex, headbands and perms out of thin air.

If he was trying to evoke the spirit of a bygone age then job done, but it's never more than STEEL PANTHER without the hooks or fun. In fact it would work perfectly as the soundtrack to a teen movie where Corey Feldman has to stop some jerk named Scooter and his daddy knocking down a clubhouse and leaving all the hip kids with nowhere to hang out. Stick "Take It To The Limit" on over the training montage and that's half the movie done right off.

Ah yes, but is there a power ballad? Of course there's a power ballad! It takes a bit longer to turn up than you might think, but "Love Will Tear Us Apart" does everything the record label executive would want it to. He's not just a hard driving rocker man, he's got feelings too and is going to show them off in the most radio friendly way possible, climaxing in a squealing guitar solo of gurning emotion! And no, it's nothing like the JOY DIVISION song of the same name.

In other words, this is the sort of album that could have spent the past twenty-five years languishing in the archives and only just been unearthed. There's a certain charm to all the pomposity but frankly, this is terrible. It makes an all right drinking game however: take a shot every time he sings some variation on "take me through the night" and you might even enjoy it.