Militant

Half8n

Have you ever heard of "torture porn" before? Its not actually porn, its just what […]
By H.P. Buttcraft
February 10, 2014
Half8n - Militant album cover

Have you ever heard of "torture porn" before? Its not actually porn, its just what some people call a subgenre of horror films where the shock value to these movies comes from is their exploitation of physical torture in its various forms. So I will be the first music critic to classify the music of HALF8N as "torture Korn" since the band tries half-heartedly to have a sound similar to KORN but after all is said and done, listening to the music is pure torture. So much so that "Militant" should be against the Gevena Convention.

How does one go about even pronouncing the name of this band. "Half-Aten"? Is that an intentional misuse of the past tense of the verb 'eat'? Perhaps the numeric '8' is supposed to symbolize something. The number eight sort of looks like an ass so maybe the band's name is really "Half-Assin'" as in "We are really Half-Assin' this record we put out". HALF8N apparently didn't get the memo that Nu-Metal is so out of touch with all of contemporary music, even its commercially successful hay day, it should be illegal to make that kind of music in the year 2014. Even bands like SYSTEM OF A DOWN, COAL CHAMBER and SLIPKNOT evolved as the years went on so that by 2006, the year of HALF8N's formation, those bands had become something else outside of the alternative metal scene.
 

However, HALF8N is currently the number one Metal act on ReverbNation in the Fresno, California area. They have over one thousand fans and are dedicated marketers of their music. The bad news is that all of this advertising and marketing is working. Is this really the best that the Fresno area can do? There are areas like San Francisco Oakland that have a very devoted metal scene with dozens of hard-working musicians that put their hearts and souls into the metal they create. If you don't believe me, go listen to "Dead As Dreams" by WEAKLING or "Mental Funeral" by AUTOPSY, byproducts of the West-Coast's metal savagery.
So why should I give a band like HALF8N any credit at all? The song "Kielbasa Fried" has a fat and dirty bass-driven Nu Metal rhythm that fits the lyrics about a monkey getting shot into outer space and meeting with a space alien. I think the song "Anonymous" is the most cringe-worthy song I have ever heard in my life. My ears wanted to explode to end the awfulness they were being put through. This isn't metal anymore. This is hardly even music anymore. This is what the bottom of the barrel is.

I am quite impressed by their success in their hometown. Maybe one can attribute this to the bands free-spirited, rebellious attitude. Maybe this kind of music would go over well at The Gathering of the Juggalos festival in Cave-In-Rock, Illinois but that's a long ways from home for HALF8N. But if I were in HALF8N's shoes, I would be aspiring to trying to get an invitation.

2 / 10

What the Hell?

"Militant" Track-listing:

1. Kielbasa Fried
2. Naked Slaves
3. Anonymous
4. Stay Away

Half8n Lineup:

Dalton Whitman - Lead Vocals / Rhythm Guitar
Eric Avila - Lead Guitar
Justin Casselman - Drums
James Ruiz - Bass / Backing Vocals

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